Forgiveness is more than enough.
I know how hard forgiveness can be. I know a lot of people do, and the pain sucks.
There is a specific pain the comes with forgiveness.
You see, my past has a way of knocking on my door at all the right times. Usually when I'm already weak from the fight, tired from stuff or not on guard. Memories like to flood me at those times. I've been all over my past within a few moments before I realize that I've been swept by it all over again.
I've learned that forgiving does not mean that the past loses its sting immediately and there are times when I get revisit the pain and there is a lot.
TIME.
It's been a year since God saved me from my past. He sent numerous people in my life at JUST the right time. He was the only One who could save me from what I was in. I was neck deep in a sin that I had given a foothold 6 months previous. Today I tell people that if I would have chosen to keep doing what I was doing that I would have gotten pregnant... and my whole life would have taken a completely different route.
However, by God's grace, He had a different plan for me.
It's been a year since everything.... I've prayed and asked for forgiveness more times than I can remember. I've forgiven him. But..... the hardest one to forgive has been myself.
I have been swamped in shame. You know what I mean? The memories come back in a way that the enemy tries to tell me that I'm not forgiven and that I don't deserve God's grace. And the truth is.... that I don't deserve it. No one does. But that is what God has been capturing my heart with-- He doesn't have to love me, but chooses to... even after my past.
No matter what kind of choice you've made... I'm living proof.... God still loves you. He wants your heart. He sees your beauty...even if you feel like you have none left. It's like God is extending His hand out to you to help you. You can choose to be forgiven. You can accept the truth that God has forgiven you.
Something that helped me was to pray these verses and claim their truth for myself.
The LORD longs to be gracious to you and rises to show you compassion. -Isaiah 30:18
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
-1 John 1:9
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30
You can choose to forgive yourself today.
It's a choice... and God will give you the grace you need.
<3 Joy
I recently studied the topic of forgiveness. In society, so often, we hear the term "I just can't forgive myself!" But where in the Bible do you see that? NO WHERE! This was news to me too. To me, my past would hurt so bad that I would say the same thing to myself: "I can't forgive such a sinner as myself. How could I slip up?" But in reality, what God really teaches us through forgiveness, is the idea of "forgiving ourselves" is selfish. We ARE sinful. We ARE selfish people. We aren't TOO GOOD to mess up. If we say that we can't forgive ourselves, then you're ultimately undermining God. He has the power to forgive. When you realize that your Creator, forgave you, you'll be rid of the feelings that you're not forgivable.
ReplyDeleteHope this makes sense and forces you to think. It sure made me think. I have a booklet I want you to read on this: amazing! I'll give it to you next time I see you :) I'm here if you want to talk more about it. Love you!
<3 Bran