One moment happened when I was at a senior high camp at a very small church camp. The teaching wasn't the greatest the whole week and I can't really remember who the speaker was besides the fact that we all referred to him as "PJ". One night he talked about guys and girls. He had all the girls in the crowd stand up. All of us. And he looked us all right in the eye and he said, "You're beautiful. Even if no one has ever told you that-- you are. I don't care what you think about yourself-- you're beautiful." I can't remember what he said to the guys, but it was something just as important that the guys needed to hear, too. So girls, that was the first time hearing "You're beautiful, Joy." It's not that people didn't think that I was, but I was your tomboy that just exited the worst years of my life: junior high. I started to believe that I was beautiful and that God thought that I was beautiful, too. I knew that that guy on stage wasn't lying. I usually have a pretty good lie detector, and he was genuine.
1. You're beautiful.
Then, the next moment happened during my spring break of Junior year. I was an up and coming leader in a junior leadership program for prospective future military leaders and was attending a leadership training that was different than anything that I've ever taken part in. That week I learned many things about myself. The program director was pretty scary and very forceful. One of the evolutions we did was the ladder trust fall. I had done this PLENTY of times and I didn't worry about this at all. However, for this exercise I had to keep my eyes open the entire time and fall into the arms of my peers. Interestingly enough, I fell into their arms every time. I never flinched or worried that they wouldn't catch me... or sort of. I closed my eyes three times in a row though. Finally the program director confronted me. I was standing close to the top of the 9 foot ladder and he stared up at me from below. At that time he said the most encouraging words to me that anyone has ever said: "Joy, you are so fucking worth it." I don't know why those words meant so much, but they did. I don't know why a swear word that I never use is in the most meaningful phrase either. However, I do know that I am worth it. And sometimes I have to repeat that phrase to myself, even if the situation doesn't really deem it necessary to use it in THAT specific context.
2. You are so worth it.
So, girls-- you're beautiful and you're worth it. Completely. Psalm 139 is a passage that I sometimes look at when I get into the comparing game or feel less than beautiful.
Check out Psalm 139 even if you've read it a hundred times.
Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm. 1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
